Piotr's true love
by Toddles-LiL-Cuddlebumps
Summary: heh,heh....very silly....Mastermind will do ANYTHING to get Piotr...so he does...LOT'Z of slash!
1. Dollies and Dasies

????WARNING!! THIS IS A SLASH!! ?   
  
Mastermind was sitting all alone feeling sorry for himself when Piotr came out of the bathroom, damp because he'd just taken a shower. Mastermind was string at Piotr's finely tuned body when Piotr started to speak " 'Ello 'Astermind" Piotr said sweetly. Mastermind blushed. "Hi Piotr" he said shyly waving his fingers. "You wave like a sissy" giggled Piotr "Why don't you love me anymore?!?!" Mastermind shouted as he ran off  
  
Mastermind sat in his room crying when he decided how he could win Piotr's love……… He must make Piotr think he was a…WOMAN! **dramatic music plays** Mastermind ran to the mirror. "Hmmm… Does this make me look fat? Maybe a should wear a skirt? EWWW!! Piotr doesn't like Blondes! OOO, I'll be a Brunette!" Mastermind looked at his chest, then started poking at what wasn't there. "I don't think they're big enough……" Mastermind ran and grabbed two of Magneto's latest products **in announcer voice** The Orb Ball for pets, it's only three easy payments of $9.99! **shinge, sparkle, sparkle** "I'm perfect! Piotr will adore me for sure! " he announced as he put on his "lipstick"  
  
Mastermind was finally pleased with his "new self" "how am I gonna get to the front door with out being noticed?" he asked himself "OH! I know!" He started to run toward the window and jumped out, (which I should mention is 3 stories from the ground) to land on something sharp but comforting. Lance started to come around the corner, skipping and humming, almost dropping his basket of pink daisies in shock. "Oh my golly gee gosh! I do believe you are lost Mam." Lance said in a faggish voice. " Mam?!?! What do you mean Ma……Yes, I am" Mastermind said suspiciously "Jeepers! May I ask who you are? I'm the Acolyte's gardener, Lance" "Oh, me? I'm umm… here to see Piotr" Mastermind responded "OHH!! Piotr…He's so sexy……**sighs** but I'd never stand a chance……" "Don't worry Lance, your still young and I'm sure you'll find Mrs. … Mr. Right someday. I have to go find Piotr now, Good-bye!" Mastermind got up and found what he had landed on, "oh, here's your shovel." "Thank you! Toodle-oo!" Lance said as he skipped off. **Ba-Ba-Ba Barbie style!**  
  
Mastermind ran to the door excitedly and rang the doorbell, he could hear Sabertooth playing with his dolls. "Daddy Magneto! There's someone at the door!" Sabertooth shouted from inside. "Will you get that for me pussycat?" Magneto asked in response "Yes Maggie-Pie!" Sabertooth ran to the door, dolls in hand. "That must be Barbie's latest accessories! Don't leave Mr. Delivery Man!" Sabertooth opened the door excitedly " You don't have Barbie accessories!" **slam** "Who was dat?" Piotr asked from inside "He didn't have my accessories, I don't know and I don't care!" Sabertooth answered bratily. Mastermind knew it was finally his chance. "It's really happening!" he told himself. Piotr opened the door, "Jah?" Mastermind gasped in excitement "Piotr! I'm your…… biggest fan?" "Oh, do you want me to autograph?" Piotr asked very confused. "No, I want you big boy!" Mastermind lunged at Piotr lips first. Piotr landed with a thud and on something rather hard "Piotr! You landed on Mipsy! Get up, get up!! I'm telling you brought a strange woman in the house, not even Pietro is allowed to do that! EWWW!! And you're kissing her!! MAGGIE-POOH!!" Sabertooth screamed at Piotr as he ran up-stairs. "Your gonna be in big trouble!" he yelled down the stairs. "EWWW!! You even let her tongue in your face!" Piotr gently pushed the "unknown woman" away "I do not like saying this, but you kiss like my room-mate." "Uhhh……I can assure you that I am not your room-mate." "What's you name?" Piotr asked. Mastermind's head went back and forth searching for something when he spotted one of Sabertooth's doll's lying there. He gasp. "My name is Misty!" "Wow, that's the name of Sabertooth's doll. What's your last name?" Mastermind did another quick room check. "Windows!" Mastermind exclaimed "My last name is Windows." "Hmmm……Misty Windows, that sounds strangely familiar." "Oh ,I don't believe it's a common name." Mastermind said. "How about we go up to my room now?" Piotr offered "Misty" "Whatever you wish!!" Mastermind grabbed Piotr's arm "My, your really buff!" "I know." Piotr said unsurprised as they walked off to Piotr's room. 


	2. In the bedroom

Sabertooth burst into Magneto's room, to tell him what had just happened. "Daddy Magneto, Daddy Magneto! Piotr has a strange woman in the house!" he shouted. "Now, now. Come tell daddy all about it." Sabertooth ran and leaped on Magneto's lap. "First I thought it was the Barbie delivery man, but it wasn't. So I shut the door, then Piotr answered it and that awful lady leaped on Piotr and started giving him mouth to mouth!" Sabertooth started sobbing after he finished his story. "Awww……there, there." Magneto gently stroked Sabertooth's head. Sabertooth started purring. "Oh yea, that's the stuff!" Sabertooth cuddled into Magneto. "Daddy, tell me a story." Sabertooth requested. "Why don't you climb into bed, Daddy has to take his little pimp pill." "Yes Daddy!" Sabertooth said as he skipped off to the bed, striping on his way. "I'm gonna change into something more comfortable Daddy-kins!" He dug through his closet to find the perfect thing, his my size Barbie's French maid outfit! **in announcer voice** with complementary feather duster and Windex with purchases over $59.99! Magneto strolled in just when Sabertooth finished dressing. "You did a terrible job cleaning this room!" "I just might have to punish you……" "OH, Misiour!" Magneto picked up Sabertooth and carried him off to the bed…. (you know what happens from here…. -_- )   
  
Piotr and "Misty" had just finished they're "business" when Mastermind started asking Piotr questions. "So, what do you think of your room-mate?" " How do I say this, I think…he's a fag." Mastermind choked back his tears. "How can you think such? I'm sure he's a nice man!" "Jah, he is nice but….I just…he tries to hit on me….and I don't have feelings for him, I like Pietro." "But I though you liked you me??" "Yes, I do but….I have feelings for him too." "Who do you care for? Him or me?" "Well…I…" "Him or me?? Are you ashamed of me?" "No, not at all. It's just I only met you and I've known Pietro since he was a baby…such a nice butt!" Piotr starts drooling over his memories. Mastermind sighed with disbelief. He wondered how he could think he have a chance with Piotr, even in this form. "Would you like to spend the night Misty?" "Every night! I mean…that would be great" "Terrific, let's get dressed and go out to dinner." "Anything you say!" So they got dressed and left…. 


	3. Fancy food poisoning

Piotr and "Misty" were walking down the street trying to figure out where they should eat. "I wanna go to Burger King" Piotr announced "Burger King? That's not very romantic." "Burger King is cheap and nummy!" "Oh look here's a Burger King!" Misty said. Mastermind had used his powers to change the 5 star French restaurant in front of them in a " Burger King" "That's odd, there used to be a restaurant here, oh well!" Piotr and Mastermind walked into the restaurant to find a man standing by the door. "Good evening sir, do you have a reservation?" the waiter asked "Since when do you need a reservation for Burger King?!?!?!" Piotr asked angrily. Piotr turned all metaly and crush the waiter when Mastermind made the illusion that Piotr was the president so they could get in with out anymore problems. "Now Mr. President put down that poor waiter and lets eat!" "I'm sorry Mr. President" the waiter whimpered "I didn't realized it was you." "YAY!! I'm the President!" "Shut up and sit down Mr. President." Misty said hungrily. Piotr and Misty sat down to order. 10 minutes later they got their food and were happily eating, when Misty let out a large burp. "Excuse me." Misty said as she blushed "That was really good!" Piotr said Piotr drank some of the wine they ordered and let out an even bigger burp than Misty. "Hey! No fair, you out burped me!" Misty was up set so she drank some wine and did the same as Piotr. The noise burst through out the room. They continued burping, making a contest out of it all. Finally people started complaining about they're behavior. The manager came out to talk to them. "Excuse me sir, madam. I'm going to have to ask you to leave because of your behavior." "This is an outrage!" Piotr shouted. "You can't kick me outta Burger King!"   
  
"Honey settle down." Mastermind was worried about what Piotr was going to do to the manager. "Sir you are truly mistaken, this is not Burger King, this is a French Gourmet dining facility." "Where's my receipt? I wanna give you your money and leave this….this…DUMPHOLE!" "I can assure you that this is no dump hole" the waiter told Piotr. "Heh, I beg to differ!" "Piotr honey, let's just pay the bill and leave like the nice man asked." "Fine, Steve go fetch the bill!" "Sir, my name is not Steve. It is Pierre." "I don't care if your name was Bill go get the bill before I report you to the manager!" "I AM the manager!" "Yea, sure you are Joe." "I've already told you sir, my name is Pierre." "Well, what are you waiting for Frenchy?!?!" "Piotr, be more nice to the poor man." "When he brings me the bill I'll be nice." "No, you'll be nice now or I'll……" Mastermind couldn't think of anything to threaten him with, what could there possibly be to threaten him with then again. "Let's just leave it at bad things happen to bad people." The waiter was coming around a corner with their check. "Took him long enough!" Piotr said loudly. "Here's your bill Misiour." The waiter handed him the bill. Piotr looked at it and was about to scream. "$ 83.97" "You've got to kidding?!?! Burger king has never charged this much!" "Sir I will once again tell you that this is NOT Burger King!" "Yea, yea. You say tomato, I say ketchup." "Now back to this bill, you must be outta your mind if you think I'm gonna pay 83 bucks for a couple of burgers and a couple of cokes your nuts man." "You did not have a couple of burgers, you had steaks and wine!" "I thought the meat tasted funny….and it was missing the bread…." "Honey, lemme handle this" Mastermind used his powers to make the waiter think that Piotr was right and to make Piotr think the waiter was right so they could just meet in the middle. "All right, I'll pay the bill but….." Piotr suddenly didn't look so well, in fact he puked right there! "Oh my god! What have you done to Piotr?!?" "It looks like food poisoning madam." Suddenly everyone in the restaurant started to force them selves to puke. "Call an ambulance, I needa get my Piotr to the hospital!" 


End file.
